Emotional “Botox” for Busy Gals
Many women completely disconnect from their personal needs when trying to keep up with the other demands of their life. The irony is that sacrificing your needs in order to care for others actually distances you from your children, partner/spouse, friends, family, work and community anyway. We all need nurturing and time. You must fit yourself into your schedule. If you don’t, everything else you’re rushing to do feels meaningless when you’re there in body but not spirit. You deserve to savor your life, so start now and plump up your heart and soul. You’ll feel better, you’ll live better and you’ll look better. We call this Emotional “Botox”:
1. Enjoy Self Care and see how it is available in many forms. No matter what, remember it’s a gift to your self, not another thing you “should” do. Some nurturing ideas for busy women are: walks, cooking, audio books, regular books, long conversations, fun exercise, massage, naps, prayer, meditation and booking free time with yourself. Another great way to take care of yourself is to make time to be with your dearest friends. Laugh, cry or do whatever you want to feed your soul. You deserve a lot of TLC.
2. Communicate Clearly and eliminate holding onto resentments. We don’t realize the amount of energy and space resentments occupy in our bodies and lives. If you learn to communicate directly and clearly in the moment, your relationships improve and there is less psychic weight to carry around in your life. You deserve clarity.
3. Practice being grateful. When your life looks like it can’t get any more insane, find something to be grateful for. It will give you a lot more joy and connection rather than the perpetual feeling of overwhelm. You deserve to feel appreciation.
4. Prioritize health. It’s just as important for you to go to the doctor as it is for your pets, parents, spouses or children to go. Schedule the appointments and keep them! Ask a friend or family member for help if you need back-up or support. That’s what they are there for. You are no good for yourself or your family if you are burnout and ill. You deserve vitality.
5. Lovers come first. If you have a significant other, prioritize your relationship! Remember that your spouse can be your closest companion, and it will benefit you and everyone in your household if that relationship stays at the top of your list. You are not neglecting your children by spending time alone with your spouse- instead you are teaching them the importance of your connection, love and unity. Make time to be together for genuine intimacy- not just going to the movies where you don’t have to interact except by hitting the other’s hand in the tub of popcorn. Visit new places, take walks, make love, be creative and curious with your conversation, and get to know each other again all the time. Try to discuss more than your kids (pleasurable and enticing as it may be!) and take a leap to rediscover your lover. You deserve intimacy.
6. Be calm. Overwhelm has become a socially acceptable and somewhat “normal” state of being for many people. While this is extremely stressful and taxing on your body and mind, you’re also sending negative messages those in your life, including partners and kids. When spouses feel disconnected and unappreciated, relationships get stale. Kids are learning that being a parent is too much for you and they are causing your discontent. They internalize your feelings and take it personally. You’re also teaching them how to be chaotic, frantic and dissatisfied because how you are being with your kids is even more pronounced than what you are saying to your kids. Aside from that, you aren’t proving anything to anyone when you are totally frazzled. You deserve to feel sane, happy, enlivened and passionate. Relaxation is a wonderful aspect of life. If you need help, let people support you and take a break. This is also a good time to practice gratitude and meditation, and redirect your brain when you are inclined to repeat, “I’m too busy, I have so much to do, I don’t have enough time” try instead “I love and accept myself, and I allow joy and easy living.” You deserve serenity.
7. Ask an expert. You may want to consider seeing a therapist or a coach. This is not because something is wrong with you, but because you don’t know everything and we all need guidance sometimes. When you are in the midst of so much externally, the internal side of you may be neglected. It’s always great to have a person in your life whose time with you is completely devoted to supporting your absolute health and happiness. They can see things that you are not seeing about your life and will hold a space for you to relax into, as you get deeper awareness about your life, your self, and what you want most. You deserve the best of the best.
*Special love & thanks to my friend Lauren Krasny who nicknamed my work & the results Emotional “Botox” a few years ago. xo