The Making of a Guru

I’ve been thinking about experts and power. Where do Gurus come from? This is a scary piece for me to share because it is so controversial, but I’m committed to being honest so here goes:

Do you trust yourself? Many people become Gurus because other people decide to believe in the Guru’s word above their own. A few months ago, James Ray held a retreat and it turned into a tragedy. Prior to that, he was working and responding to what people asked of him- to transfer as much information, energy and his “secrets” to them. People willingly paid for his books, lectures and retreats.

I’ve followed leaders, gurus, teachers, coaches and more, and have dumbed down on many occasions. I learned a lot and though I did not lose my life, thankfully I did lose some naivete along the way. This in no way minimizes the lives or deaths of the people who were a part of James Ray’s retreat (if you don’t know about this story, click here). What I know is that there is always a lesson to be learned in every situation. In this case, maybe we can take the time to reflect on our own lives, choices and how we have relinquished our innate power to know what is right or real for us.

Many of us love to rely on others to tell us our limits, the way to live or the way to break through. Religions, politicians, doctors, diets, grades, peers, beauty, family and beyond always have something to offer, but what they offer could be the gospel or the garbage depending on how we integrate the heart of the message into our lives. I believe that at the core of every message is an invitation for love and wholeness. Accessing that requires clarity, discernment and radical honesty. Put the time in to notice your way of thinking, to really look at your life and how much you trust yourself. What are the sources of your information, feedback, guidance and values?

By all means, work with “experts” when you want or need it- experts are amazing! They are there not only to provide you with stellar guidance, but to show you how all the stuff that happens in the rest of your life will emerge in the relationship with them too. A great expert is willing to give and receive feedback. They will go to the edge with you, by your side, embracing their humanity as well- there is no technique that will provide the gift of honoring the moment. Remember, if you carry resentments, you will resent the expert. If you blame others, you will soon blame the expert. If you look for someone to tell you how to live or what to do, you will look to them for that. Notice that and face it. Tell the truth when it happens, don’t try to cover it up. You will get your life out of that type of conversation much more than the techniques or practices they may offer yo u. It’s the process, not just the content that holds the key to your freedom.

If you work as an expert, it is your job above all else to completely own  your life, your influence and your offering. People trust you for many reasons- and sometimes the reasons are unclear or hidden. Part of the job of an expert is to know this and proceed accordingly.  There is no one size fits all in the world of personal transformation, as it’s a delicate and sacred art.  Lives are on the line, including yours.  Take this path seriously and honor the pace that is appropriate for you.  We never have all the answers or information. Get support. Be humble.

Within any miracle or mess, no matter the circumstances, we have a chance to rise. I am suggesting the chance to rise into choice. Trashing James Ray and the money he charged disrespects everyone, including those who lost their lives. They were perfectly capable of choosing to attend a $20 sweat lodge and they did not- they chose James Ray’s retreat. On some level there is no difference between charging $20 or $10,000. The money is as significant or insignificant as we make it. There are plenty of Native American or other tribal teachers who are dishonest and do not charge money. Are they any less responsible for their actions or words? Delivering a message has nothing to do with the dollar amount attached to the offering- it has to do with how you relate to your role, your humanity and responsibility.

I do not know James Ray and this is no t about him. It’s about projection- looking for someone to blame, to trash, to exploit and relieve you of the responsibiltiy for your own life. That person does not and will not exist. If you listen to other people in your life when they are blaming, you are diminishing yourself and them. It’s a disservice to indulge that because beyond the blame, there is emotion- fear, grief, love, anger, peace, real power and awakening. You are responsible for your higher consciousness, intuition, managing your finances, your health and spiritual path. Mistakes happen, tragedies happen- horrible, unimaginable tragedies. There is always a “what if”. If you are wondering how things could be or could have been different for you, make different choices starting now. We have all we need to inhabit our core of wholeness, love, fulfillment and joy.

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at his disposition, and listeni ng to his voice in the depths of our hearts.” ~ Mother Theresa

You are precious!

Tell the truth and love your life,

Ali xo

Category: Relationships